semi-locked

Mar. 5th, 2015 01:06 am
alliekins: (Default)
comment to be added, less inclined to add if u don't. just simple courtesy :)

alliekins: (sir michael scott)
ive been working at this job for a year now, and ive settled in. know ins and outs about most things except small talk, which i loathe, but i know how to deal. a new store opened several blocks from ours and my hours have decreased in the last couple of weeks. around this time last year when i was starting out i had close to 30 to 40 hours, now im lucky if im getting 18. usually this means it's less busy, so less hours. even during holiday season it was not crazy busy, even christmas eve.

anyway, ive got to go job hunting again. plus being around the long timers talking about pension plan issues and all that bring me down, but listening to them encourages me to go back to school. at the moment, im just not ready to go back. i wish i made this decision when i graduated high school 4 years ago, but what i got now are 20k student loans to pay off, and extra taxes i didnt know about because i didnt have to worry about them while in school. good things: parents arent kicking me out. theyve been spoiling me to the point where im feeling bad about it because it makes me feel incompetent. bad things: i dont have friends. i mean i do, like bother me once in a blue moon thing. friend's still with boyfriend and i dont really get him, but whatever i guess.

i also had a pretty good christmas. good food, good presents and money. i saw frozen! xmas eve and xmas day were good happy days. now im back in my situational sadness or general sad mood, im not sure anymore.

ive been marathoning it's always sunny for the last month, it's probably one of the greatest things ive ever watch. that's been giving me a reason to wake up.
alliekins: (sir michael scott)
cool news. after a disastrous (well it felt like it, anyway) spring semester, i decided not to take the summer semester. it's the first time since i graduated high school i've had a free summer break.

sort of. as ive been employed for the last 6 months now, hurrah! unfortunately, full availability at my work means "well only if we have the hours" so i am not changing my off days.

i've been cooling off a bit and taking care of my 2 year old dog of 6 months. we got him after the first week of employment which was pretty neat. he's turning 3 in 4 days. there's a sense of stability in the household since getting him, but man is he a pain in the ass ball of fluff.
alliekins: (Default)
i think i practically applied to every place that would actually hire me. i've had 3 interviews in the past two weeks. i got none of them, and had rejection emails too, which kind of hurt. so right now, i've been watching a lot of tv, moreso since there's no nhl hockey to watch. i've been volunteering, doing office work. i think the holiday season is going to be pretty depressing.

my expectations in the next week or so are pretty low, i just want my hands on the new kesha album. that, and i hope i get accepted to the workstudy program in the spring semester.
alliekins: (Default)
i didn't get the job, hoping they hire closer to holidays

:\
alliekins: (Default)
no, i haven't been busy. i'm just tired of listening to myself go on about the same damn thing all the time.

anxiety, anxiety, anxiety. i just sit in my bum or try to go through my day always hoping no one notices me. it's gotten that bad.
alliekins: (Default)
crap.

sry, i haven't been here in like forever. i don't know what to do right now. i'm afraid i've got extreme anxiety all over again. :(

all i want right now is a break from university and maybe an office job.

everything needs tidying up and im sitting here being useless.
alliekins: (Default)
i'd really like to find my passion some time. i really would. i float around because i'm not motivated and i'm not inspired. i refuse to work as hard if it has no meaningful purpose.

i like design, and would like to develop a more passionate interest in it. if this spatial design class doesn't do it, nothing will.

the prof is apparently brutal, but ultimately rewarding at the end. i'm in for a hell of a semester. 
alliekins: (kitty)
so i hung out with my friend yesterday. went to starbucks, talked about misfits, school, etc. and wasted rest of the time playing super mario on her wii. she got me a neat hot chocolate pack thing and this light angel figurine. nice time.

i finally sucked it up and checked my grades. i genuinely thought i was going to fail 2 of my classes, but i ended up getting B's on them. solid grades, i'll take 'em, especially after my expectations! plus, all my teams won yesterday too. can't wait for world juniors on boxing day! it was a great xmas eve eve!

i may or may not spend today making ginger bread houses. hope my f-list has a happy merry christmas! <3
alliekins: (kitty)
oh shucks, this is cute



so i finished ALL my xmas shopping and watched the wings/nucks game yesterday. sad they lost, but wrapped presents to make myself feel better. i'm feeling a little more festive now. maybe it's the liquor chocolates, but for the first time, i'm seeing the holidays in a positive light and i don't feel like destroying every christmas song i hear.

or that i'm in a good mood today. either case, yay xmas eve tomorrow!
alliekins: (onoez)
i've done pretty much 3/4 of my xmas shopping. xmas is a week away and i still haven't been feeling very festive. if anything, i feel more trapped in the commercialism of it all. i don't even know what i want for xmas this year, and i don't really care either. i don't know, every year i get more and more indifferent about it. doesn't help that the weather's been looking meh. maybe some snow will help? but we'll probably get more rain than anything.

i've devised a plan to not make my holidays not suck. i will not check my exam marks or anything related to school until maybe after new years, where i may or may not panic. but that's the beauty of it, i won't stress myself out by being ignorant. i'm ignoring the fact the only school-related thing that i did to before xmas shopping was send my student loans agreement thing, but that was important.

hopefully my f-list is feeling more festive than i!
alliekins: (Default)
i'm free! i'm free! fall semester over!!

freedom dance!



now i'm gonna go chill, and start thinking about the holidays
alliekins: (Default)
oh lawd it's friday.

this weekend is going to be the death of me with all the studying i'm going to have to do. and i haven't had sleep yet, it's brill. coffee-fueled for the rest of the day then. go willpower for no sleep, one two go!

i've only recently found out that jakeypoo pants is dating whiny swift, what is this bs. anyway, hope you are all well.
alliekins: (Default)


i probably should do this often.
alliekins: (Default)
so i'm finally done my first year. i've taken my final yesterday and i think i've done- no, i probably shouldn't say anything out of fear i will jinx my results.

i'm coming into my second year, lose some brain cells before september rolls around?

i came across i am neurotic, and looking through i realized i haven't really thought about any quirks i have. but i do and i'm weirdly embarrassed to admit them:

- every time i touch my face, i have to push back my glasses at least twice even though i don't have to.

- when i'm trying really hard to remember something i jump up and down and do jumping jacks, that is in the privacy of my own home, until i can remember it.

- when i think of my own or second-hand embarrassing moments, i murmur "i love you" or some previous crushes' name multiple times until i think i can forget about it.

- whenever i'm approaching the crosswalk with the little man still on, i have to stop. i always wait for the little man to turn to the red hand, wait for the green stoplight to turn red again, and then when i know it turns to the little man that's when i walk because somehow i feel it's a clear affirmation that i can in fact cross the street without fear of getting hit by a car unexpectedly.

- when i don't rip a page from my notebook cleanly, i roll it up into a ball, unroll it, and doodle on it until it's filled so i don't feel like i've "wasted" it.

- i absolutely hate it when i write some really long sentence and the last word has to be on a new line, so i cross off a part of the sentence, write it out smaller to make room for the last word.

- when i want my brain to get rid of something i don't want to think about, like NSFL material, i say purple spotted dinosaurs, but i picture purple dinosaurs with pink spots.

i realized that's exhaustive, i hope i'm not that weird.
alliekins: (Default)
i'm feeling so uninspired right now.

i reconsidered the programming rant i wrote earlier and removed it, i don't want my brain and i to be reminded. screw the advil, hit me with some tequila shots, s'il vous plait.
alliekins: (Default)
okay, so i got back from seeing inception. i'm not gonna go spoil ya, but i'll say that it's pretty friggen good. it gets pretty intense right away and was sort of confusing at the beginning, but it does explain between parts so everything comes into a full circle. it goes into a total epic climax for quite a long time where the climax just keeps building and building, and then bam it goes to a suggestive, open-to-interpretation ending. considering the plot, i liked how it didn't have a definite ending, but that's me. my friend felt ripped off by leaving us hanging, but she thought it was really good too.

in conclusion, there's lot of action and intense build-up, it lived up to the hype tbh. i felt overwhelmed after watching it and i had high expectations going in. the movie of the summer worth seeing, 5 stars.

uhm, okay maybe the ending part may be spoiler-ish?
alliekins: (Default)


oh god why.

why did i have to take a summer class? i should be chillen' in the sun. this heatwave is seriously killing me, when will it end? zomg global warming~

i'm seeing inception tomorrow. i hope it lives up to the hype, leonardo.
alliekins: (Default)
i have things to say for most of my canadian peeps. FOOTBALL IS NOT LIKE WATCHING PAINT DRY THX. i still like hockey though. watching the world cup makes the wait less painful.

and those vuvuzelas are MUSIC to my ears! how dare they try to ban it.

GO ENGLAND&SPAIN&GERMANY

celebrating france loss right now
alliekins: (Default)
[Error: unknown template qotd]

i was a casual ron/hermione fanfic reader for a short while, but that was it. everything else, like alternate universe, was too weird for me.

lol @ the title. sheldon/penny romance will never happen. sheldon is asexual damnit. he'll never be with someone who's not in the same level as his intellectuality; penny's too much of an airhead. they're good as friends, okay.